We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
