i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
