i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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