Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
