idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
