I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i believe in u and ur pee
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize