we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize