Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
