I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
