his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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