Are we in a gay sports bar?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
