Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
