Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
