Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
