I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
