I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
