K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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