This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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