The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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