I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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