I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
