You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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