chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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