i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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