i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
