worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
