You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
