Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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