I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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