Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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