It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
