i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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