What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
