remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize