Nicole vs. Life
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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