I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize