Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
