Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They took my balls.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
