all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
