i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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