And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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