i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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