I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
