Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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