he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
