PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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