So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
