just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
