I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My breasts were aching with rage.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
