Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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