As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize