Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
420 ftw
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My ATM looks so different sober.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
