You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
