You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
