is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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