i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
