She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
