You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
