she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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