saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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