New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
