Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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