At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize