It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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