I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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