He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
