so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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