quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it because I queefed?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
