i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize