He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
