found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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