This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
