I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
