god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize