he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
