You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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