I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
