Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize