Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
