Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She announced her abortion via fbk
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Couch. On fire.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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